More ExBlue with added Shadestones!

If you're paying attention, I've added a second story. It's actually got some writing done! So head on over to shadestones.blogspot.com and check it out. All... three... paragraphs... Yeah, I didn't say there was a lot of writing. But there's a character page! (Even though it tells nothing of interest.)

Back to the other stuff. ExBlue gave me a freak out moment this week. I kept looking for the second chapter so I could write more of it, and when I finally tracked it down, two pages of writing were gone! I looked at every copy I could find(three different versions in all) but I could not find one with those pages. Heck, I even looked at the scrapped chapter three just to be safe. Nada.

I was really starting to get worked up. If my computer had shut down while I was working on them, why hadn't I rewrote them right away? I mean, they were good pages and finally got me past my writer's block. If I lost them, I'd be back where I started.

Not good.

Until today, when I decided enough was enough and finally used common sense. I used my search bar in finder (I have a mac) and found (again) multiple chapter 2's. But the one had "-the chase" added on. I clicked it and voila! The missing pages were found! :D.

Turns out that instead of saving this copy under "Novel" in the ExBlue file it was saved to my desktop. If I didn't have programs that start up when I turn on the computer and block my desktop, I would have seen that this morning when I turned my laptop on. Really makes me feel dumb. Anyway, I have moved the file to it's proper place and the writing (and eventual posting) of ExBlue can go on.

In further stories: I got distracted and have thought up yet another alternate way to tell "Demons and Curses"
                          Oracles 2: Still not worrying about it.
                          And my fifteenth (Really eighteenth story) is now probably going to end up as a comic
                                       (webcomic if I can figure out how that all works.)
~FallenAvalon (My actual penname :D )

The Non-Writing of ExBlue

Hey world, you listening?

I have this sinking suspicion that I use my "writing" as an excuse to daydream. When people ask how I spent my time I say "I was writing". But not a single word has been written down. Terrible, right? I just day dream and play act and it serves no purpose.

Except... it does. I've said before the stories were too big for me. It's not just that. They were too vague, too insubstantial to be successfully caught on paper. This non-writing: the playacting (not really, i think out loud. So what if I use the characters voice... don't judge me), the daydreaming, the doodling, the talking... It's all really important.

Cause this is how I set the rules. This is how I build the world. Yeah, most of it is just in my head, but its an evolving process. I mean, the story stuff evolves as I go. And most of my breakthroughs, the stuff that really gives the character depth, happen during "non-writing". Like how Ziph is a moral relativist. Or who the "Big Bad" is. (I love them, they are insane). Whether any of the characters will address the problem of religion. Or even something as simple as whether Terri likes vegetables or not (if it can be dipped in ranch, she's good).

So, yeah, a lot of stuff never gets written. But now that I think about it, a lot of it doesn't need to be. You know, the best way to tell whether or not an idea is insane is to speak it outloud. So non-writing, I guess I've decided it's legit.

~Alex

Personal stuff

Hey world, you listening?

...

So I'm back home for spring break. I'm thinking this might be a good time to get some writing done. If I ever get enough time to myself. I mean, I've got post-grad applications to start filing next fall, applications for summer jobs to fill out, not to mention the normal course-work and larger projects/papers due when I get back. I get a longer break than most, and it's just started, but I feel more than a little suffocated.

Being home is supposed to help with this but, I dunno. You see, I've got this bad habit of second guessing myself on every little thing. This is part of the reason why writing takes me forever. Anytime I decide which way a story should go, I immediately turn around and rewrite it. Again. Anyway, it's lead me down some really depressing and regretful thoughts, wondering if I've made the right choices in my life and whether the choices I'll make in the future will lead me to happiness or if I'm just screwing myself over. I tend to fall into the latter camp of thinking. I convince myself I'm making the wrong choice, or if I do the opposite, I suspect my reasoning behind my choices is faulty and therefore I made the wrong choice anyway.

So I come home and my sister, going to a school totally different from mine, is nothing but smiles and great reports. She's loving all her classes. Mine make me angry and upset more often than not. She has all these crazy adventures with these cool close friends she's made in less than half a year. I sit at home because I can't convince my friends of three years to go out. Or I make excuses for myself and state homework (which I rarely do) as a good reason not to put myself out on a limb and meet people. She knows exactly what she wants to do and is so sure this school is the one for her. I'm still drifting and I'm more than ready to leave my school when I get the chance. I worry I let the prestige get to me when I chose it, even though it really did seem the perfect fit at the time, I didn't realize how badly ideology and morals would affect me. So now I feel... yeah, drifting's about it. Home is quickly becoming a part of my past, but I don't really have someplace to move forward to. And that scares me more than anything else right now, more than even anyone actually reading this.

But these are personal problems. In fact, I'm not sure I should even post this, but I have a new policy of brutal honesty, so I won't second guess myself this time. Anyway, I do have two weeks off so I'll try to get the first bit of ExBlue up. I want critique. So be honest. Thanks.

14 and counting.

14 stories. Yup, I am working on 14 stories at the moment... I think. Let's see...

1. Oracles

2. Excalibur Blue

3. Half-Blood

4. Destiny Breaker

5. Demons and Curses

6. Shadestones

7. Gaea's Song

8. Fallen Avalon

9. Immortal's Blood

10. The Troll's Wife

11. Cold Iron

12. Scarecrow Chronicles

13. Wyren

14. The Agency

And there are a few that I've put on the backburner. The point is, I have a problem. I constantly start stories that I never take the time to finish. Oh, excuses abound of course. I have homework, my room's a mess, I should be social. The main problems were personal. I was intimidated. I knew what I wanted to say, but didn't know how to say it or how to make sure my ideals shone through. I was too immature to fully comprehend the darkness and the complexities of the world around me. But while I'm still naive (I'll fully admit that), I'm ready to start. I'm writing. I'm posting. I'm starting with number 2 on that list up there. Excalibur Blue. I've already got the first chapter done. Here's hoping I can break free of this writer's block so I can finish chapter 2.